Delizia Pizza Kitchen in Boonton, NJ

Vampires beware!

If you find you have an aversion to mirrors, crucifixes, or wooden stakes through the heart ...

If the salty, iron-rich juice of the veins and arteries is your most favorite beverage ...

Avoid these men!



No, they are not exorcists, vampire hunters, or Aurors.

They are the men making the pizza and platters at Delizia Pizza Kitchen in Boonton, NJ — and yes, that's a website link, complete with menus and online ordering, which totally rocks!

Walking through the door on Friday night, we were immediately struck by how crowded this joint was. Boontoners have at least seven pizza places to choose from their town, and yet this place was nearly as stuffed as their stuffed crust pizza.

Girl was initially drawn to the place by the whole wheat pizza, which is cleverly advertised on their coupons (the latter being the main draw for Girl and Guy's collective Jewish and/or Scottish bargain-sensing genes).

So the first challenge was finding a seat. Our very patient waitress Iris led us past a table in the front, all the way to the back, to find a table.

"Maybe that table in the front?" Guy asked Iris.

Girl looked at him quizzically, to which he answered, "Kinda smells back here."

"Maybe it was cheese," Girl said. Fromunda cheese, Guy thought.



Iris politely led us to the front, where we took a table. "Holy cow! Look at how thick that Sicilian is!"

Girl scanned the room for a swarthy southern Italian stallion, but then quickly noted Guy was pointing to a pizza pie.

"Yeah, I don't like thick pizza," Girl said. "I really like the cracker-like quality of Domino's thin crust."

"Odd for you, as your tastes usually aren't corporate," Guy said. "But I think, at heart, you're really just a Pizza Flayer."

"Come again?"

"A Pizza Flayer, an increasingly common epidemic among certain types of people," Guy continued.

"Are you making this up?" Girl asked, rolling her eyes slightly. "Is that even a real word?"

"Yes! You know what flaying is? It's when you just take the skin off, but leaving the bone and other tissue."

Girl wrinkled her nose.

"So you're a Pizza Flayer. If you had your 'druthers, you'd just eat the skin without the crust."

Fortunately for the then glazed-over Girl, the food arrived. A salad for her, a pasta fagioli soup for him. Both were great.



Then the main course. Capellini with sundried tomatoes and spinich for him (the dense, overcooked pasta was very garlicy and yet somehow Elmer's consistency pasty) accompanied by garlic bread. She had vegetarian pizza slices. She raved about the pizza, but later commented that it, too, was a little too garlicy.

But overall, the place is probably worth many second chances. The menu is huge, the service was friendly, and the place gets a nice crowd.

A good, solid, fairly priced Italian eatery that is definitely among the most worthwhile places to eat off Main Street — and that's saying something.

Rating: :) :) :) :) (4 Smileys out of 5)

Pros: Fast & friendly service, wide variety of food, popular, good clientele, fairly priced
Cons: Slight overkill on the garlic

Mid-week at the Boonton Ave. Grille

Service 'in the BAG'

This past week we checked out a local bar & grill. Girl had been there for Happy Hour a few years back, but this was the first time for food. We were looking for some good ol' American fare and "The B.A.G." certainly fit the bill.

Since it was the middle of the week, the place wasn't too crowded. We were welcomed by their host - an older gentleman with a warm smile - and seated at a cozy corner table. The decor was just right, and I'd be remiss if I didn't mention the BAG's famous ape peering through the window over the bar...


Our waitress, Kelly, was quite possibly one of the nicest human beings ever encountered. Something tells me that she has past experience as a hospice worker... or possibly a Disney Store employee. She brought us warm rosemary bread and our soda glasses were never empty.


Guy ordered one of his favorites: the fried chicken basket special, and it did not disappoint. With four pieces of chicken, a load of fries and some very tasty cole slaw, it was a feast fit for the king that he is.


Girl chose the grilled chicken sandwich with fresh basil and roasted red peppers. Her request for a substitution of sweet potato fries was met without hesitation. And Sister Kelly even brought Girl an extra side of the magnificent cole slaw.


The ambience inside the place stayed quiet - probably due to it being a Wednesday night. There were about four or five other tables occupied, but no screaming kids which - in our opinions - is the kiss of death for even the greatest establishment.

The BAG totally kicked ass. Great food, great service, and within walking distance of where we live. I have a feeling we'll be seeing the big ape again soon.

RATING: :) :) :) :) :) (5 Smileys out of 5)

Top of the Park Pizzeria & Restaurant

"Hold on!"
... said the severe looking woman, as we waited to see if we could get a table at "Top of the Park" on a Friday night. Not "Welcome to Top of the Park!" ... not "Good evening!" ... just ...

"Hold on!"

And that just set the theme for this restaurant...



We sat at a table in the middle of a crowded restaurant, full of very drunk-via-BYO white people. Perfectly maintained middle aged women with their golf-crazed, Mountain Laker husbands, sporting "The Uniform": Polo shirts, khakis, and brown loafers -- in a pizza shop no less -- and not a person of color to be found.

We turned to one tall, brown-haired ice princess of a waitress, "Could we have that table over by the wall?" Girl asked.

"No, that's for a party of four, and if there's a reservation, you know...."

A party of two was promptly seated at said table after she finished explaining this.

We looked at each other and sighed.

"You wanna leave?" Girl asked.
"No, let's tough it out," Guy replied. "Though my father would have walked out of here already."

"Um, the specials tonight are... "

Wendy Wonderblonde looked up at the ceiling, where she was able to read the invisible ink of the evening's menu.

"Chicken Fran-chezz, and [details unimportant] with shrimps."

We looked at her, and each other. We both smirked.

"Actually, can we just get pizza?" Girl asked.

"Oh, um, sure!" Wendy exclaimed (without looking at the ceiling). "What kind..."

"The margherita?" Girl asked. Guy nodded.

"Sure!" Wendy parroted, scribbling something that looked vaguely like a smiley face.

The waitress trotted off, and Girl remarked, "Oh, she's so cute!..."

This was indeed a rare statement. Her ladyship usually doesn't like the pretty perky types, finding them highly nauseating.

"But you don't usually..." Guy started to say.

"It's the way she talks," said Girl, anticipating Guy's every thought (as usual).

The salad arrived, and it was decent. Then...

"Um, hi. OK, I should have remembered this but ... like, we have no fresh mozarella, so we can't do the margherita."

We quickly decided on mushroom pizza "with basil," which arrived on short order...

... without the basil. We had to ask for it again.

We slogged through the meal, trying to ignore the drunk blonde woman with the obnoxious laugh at the table 4 feet adjacent to us. The pizza wasn't bad, but it wasn't worth the rudeness either.

Finally, at the end of the evening, we asked Wendy Wonderblonde for the check. She managed to ask us if we wanted any dessert (again, without looking at the ceiling), and we declined. We asked to have the remaining pizza packed up.

And this is how it looked. A visual summary of the whole experience, indeed:



Rating: :) (1 Smiley out of 5)
Cons: Highly unfriendly staff, seating too crowded, poor before-during-and-after treatment. Food was OK.
Pros: Wendy Wonderblonde was cute, even when she bumped into walls.

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