If you find you have an aversion to mirrors, crucifixes, or wooden stakes through the heart ...
If the salty, iron-rich juice of the veins and arteries is your most favorite beverage ...
Avoid these men!
No, they are not exorcists, vampire hunters, or Aurors.
They are the men making the pizza and platters at Delizia Pizza Kitchen in Boonton, NJ — and yes, that's a website link, complete with menus and online ordering, which totally rocks!
Walking through the door on Friday night, we were immediately struck by how crowded this joint was. Boontoners have at least seven pizza places to choose from their town, and yet this place was nearly as stuffed as their stuffed crust pizza.
Girl was initially drawn to the place by the whole wheat pizza, which is cleverly advertised on their coupons (the latter being the main draw for Girl and Guy's collective Jewish and/or Scottish bargain-sensing genes).
So the first challenge was finding a seat. Our very patient waitress Iris led us past a table in the front, all the way to the back, to find a table.
"Maybe that table in the front?" Guy asked Iris.
Girl looked at him quizzically, to which he answered, "Kinda smells back here."
"Maybe it was cheese," Girl said. Fromunda cheese, Guy thought.
Iris politely led us to the front, where we took a table. "Holy cow! Look at how thick that Sicilian is!"
Girl scanned the room for a swarthy southern Italian stallion, but then quickly noted Guy was pointing to a pizza pie.
"Yeah, I don't like thick pizza," Girl said. "I really like the cracker-like quality of Domino's thin crust."
"Odd for you, as your tastes usually aren't corporate," Guy said. "But I think, at heart, you're really just a Pizza Flayer."
"Come again?"
"A Pizza Flayer, an increasingly common epidemic among certain types of people," Guy continued.
"Are you making this up?" Girl asked, rolling her eyes slightly. "Is that even a real word?"
"Yes! You know what flaying is? It's when you just take the skin off, but leaving the bone and other tissue."
Girl wrinkled her nose.
"So you're a Pizza Flayer. If you had your 'druthers, you'd just eat the skin without the crust."
Fortunately for the then glazed-over Girl, the food arrived. A salad for her, a pasta fagioli soup for him. Both were great.
Then the main course. Capellini with sundried tomatoes and spinich for him (the dense, overcooked pasta was very garlicy and yet somehow Elmer's consistency pasty) accompanied by garlic bread. She had vegetarian pizza slices. She raved about the pizza, but later commented that it, too, was a little too garlicy.
But overall, the place is probably worth many second chances. The menu is huge, the service was friendly, and the place gets a nice crowd.
A good, solid, fairly priced Italian eatery that is definitely among the most worthwhile places to eat off Main Street — and that's saying something.
Rating: :) :) :) :) (4 Smileys out of 5)
Pros: Fast & friendly service, wide variety of food, popular, good clientele, fairly priced
Cons: Slight overkill on the garlic
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